2011年2月6日星期日

Resolving Interpersonal Conflicts

Interpersonal communication skills and EQ are essential in our daily life.Things can go wrong if interpersonal communication is insufficient.
Here is an example of interpersonal conflicts. There are three main characters in this story, a female high school teacher whose name is Jane and her two 13-years-old students called John and David. Due to the experience of her colleagues being tricked by their students, Jane has no faith in her students. Thus she turns to her male colleagues when her male students ask for help and some students think she is unreasonable and not caring them. Jane is a sole parent. She sometimes takes her favorite four-years-old daughter to school. One day Jane finds her daughter missing and later finds her drowned in the school swimming pool.
The police conclude it was an accident but Jane finds otherwise. She finds out her daughter used to feed a puppy regularly in a yard next to swimming pool without Jane’s knowledge. It explains why her daughter was at the swimming pool. Jane also finds a purse with an electric shock gadget inside near the puppy. She remembers that her student John is very good in making such gadget. He even experimented on her once. She therefore talks to John and he admits that it was his idea to kill her daughter with such a gadget. John also tells her he has an accomplice David. They resented her indifference towards her students and decided to take away her most important treasure. They purchase a cute purse for her daughter and add on the gadgets. After her daughter gets shocked, John left the swimming pool. David realizes they must create a scene of accident to prevent getting caught. Therefore he throws her body into the swimming pool and dumps the gadget. However Jane’s daughter was drowned not electrocuted from the police report. Jane realizes the gadget did not kill her daughter but just stunned her. Therefore the intended killer John did not kill but David intending to make up the scene did.
From the killers’ point of view, they have their reasons. John is very smart academically but does not get attention and approval from his mother. His parents divorced and he has not seen her for a long time. He tries to impress his mother by excelling in various fields. He gets top in a teenagers’ science fair with his electric gadget purse. However he does not get much attention as there is another big news that day. It was a tragic killing case. He then decided to kill someone to get his mother’s attention. He needs some assistance therefore he approached David who was weak and easy to control. David is feeble and often bullied by his peers. He has no friends until John approaches him. He thinks they are the best friends until the little girl falls on the ground. John insults David as useless and hopeless in hope of David reports their murder. David is frustrated and realizes the girl did not get electrocuted. She is waking up from stun. David decides to do something John failed to accomplish in order to show he is not useless. Therefore he throws the girl alive into the swimming pool and drowns her.
The main problem in this case is the reluctance of people to share their feelings with others. They have their thoughts and reasons for their actions but others do not know about that. The misunderstanding may cause resentment and hatred leading to grave consequences. Jane did not tell the students about her reason for asking other teachers to handle male students’ requests and caused misunderstanding among students. John wanted to get his mother’s attention but he did not approach her personally. He wants to get her attention by being outstanding. David wants to be friends with others but too shy and passive to do so. If they could be more open, shows more empathy to others, and addressed their challenges, the tragedy would have been avoided.
So, the question for the audience is: What do you think of the causes of this situation and how can we prevent such incidents from actual happening?
Refrence
Ideas and incentives from the movie 'Confessions' (Kokuhaku)

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